1) Animal testing is a terrible idea- they get all nervous and give the wrong answers
2) exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement
3) be nice to your kids they'll choose your nursing home
4) If everythings going your way, you are driving in the wrong lane
5) an oral contract isn't worth the paper it is written on
6) the best way to serve cabbage is to someone else
7) a day without sunshine is like...night
8) never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway
9) the only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom
10) a tidy desk is the sign of an untidy drawer
11) if you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
12) if tomorrow never comes you are dead
13) a good pun is its own reword
14) the road to success is always under construction
15) if at first you don't succeed, destory all evidence you tried
16) nobody is ugly after 2am
17) suicide is a way of telling god: "You can't fire me - I quit!"
18) a beer in the hand is worth 2 in the fridge
19) change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
20) it's not an optical illusion, it just looks that way
21) he who laughs last, thinks slowest
22) hard work has a future payoff, but laziness pays off now
23) twenty-four hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
24) honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defence
25) friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies
Hope you enjoyed them. They are a selection from a book I have called the "Mammoth book of jokes". Great new post for the first one since the blog re-design and for the first one since I am back home for a little while!
Friday, May 18, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
near the end of my second Uni year.
The 2nd year of our journalism degree is pretty much winding down now. The TV assignment is done for the 14th and two Law exams 17th and 31st to go and then we will be on the slippery slope to 3rd year. Suppose thats why I feel in a contemplation kind of mood reflecting on what has been so far.
I got my one and only first grade this week and it was in Archaeology, my elective, I wonder if that was trying to tell me something? Specialise in that and then write for a journo publication! Not really, I am content with what I am doing now.
Especially as this summer is taken up by 3 placements. 1 two week placement at my local radio on the news team and 2 one week newspaper placements so it should be a good summer of experience and relaxation.
Anyways, it's 2 years on May 4th that I passed my driving test first time and just to brag and so far not had an accident ;) It may be cheating a little bit as I haven’t been driving all the time in them 2 years but I remember the day of passing my test as if it was yesterday and it ranks up there with one of the best days of my life! I couldn’t believe it and still feel so happy I can drive and have a clean licence.
Another thing (as I am in a reflection mood) is how I actually got into Uni in the first place, it’s weird how things work out. When the time came to apply I knew I wanted to do journalism but only applied for 5 courses and didn’t even apply for the sixth. I got in 4 and rejected for one and at the time I was on a BBC Manchester mentor project scheme and I had a personal mentor who recommended Preston when I said I was doing journalism and he said I should apply.
However, Januaury came and I thought I had no chance but I decided to use up my 6th slot and I was torn between Preston and Staffordshire and if it wasn’t for my BBC personal mentor I may well have gone for the latter.
I got my results and they weren’t high enough really, which has been pointed out to me by several people, but I guess due to my work experience beforehand I was allowed in. So I rang up and was surprised to find I had got my place at UCLan and that was another day which was full of happiness as I learned I would be off to the Uni I wanted.
I feel I was lucky to get in and have tried to make the most of it, which hasn’t always been the case but its not through lack of effort. Uni hasn’t been like I expected and I’m still not sure I made the right decision to stay on at the end of my first year but here I am nearly at the end of my second year getting ready for my law exams and finding out I got a 58% in my issues presentation which wasn't what I wanted.
Another thing, is the Uni's decision to merge the print and online routes in third year. When it came to making our choice I choose newspapers but due to the lack of people taking both routes and the "convergence" of print and online they have decided to merge the routes. Now, on one hand this is great as we will be the first print and online graduates and it is the way the industry is going but on the other hand we are going to be the preverbial guinea pigs like we were for Law this year which went tits up but hopefully it will be ok. I'm certainly looking ahead to the challenges third year will bring!
I got my one and only first grade this week and it was in Archaeology, my elective, I wonder if that was trying to tell me something? Specialise in that and then write for a journo publication! Not really, I am content with what I am doing now.
Especially as this summer is taken up by 3 placements. 1 two week placement at my local radio on the news team and 2 one week newspaper placements so it should be a good summer of experience and relaxation.
Anyways, it's 2 years on May 4th that I passed my driving test first time and just to brag and so far not had an accident ;) It may be cheating a little bit as I haven’t been driving all the time in them 2 years but I remember the day of passing my test as if it was yesterday and it ranks up there with one of the best days of my life! I couldn’t believe it and still feel so happy I can drive and have a clean licence.
Another thing (as I am in a reflection mood) is how I actually got into Uni in the first place, it’s weird how things work out. When the time came to apply I knew I wanted to do journalism but only applied for 5 courses and didn’t even apply for the sixth. I got in 4 and rejected for one and at the time I was on a BBC Manchester mentor project scheme and I had a personal mentor who recommended Preston when I said I was doing journalism and he said I should apply.
However, Januaury came and I thought I had no chance but I decided to use up my 6th slot and I was torn between Preston and Staffordshire and if it wasn’t for my BBC personal mentor I may well have gone for the latter.
I got my results and they weren’t high enough really, which has been pointed out to me by several people, but I guess due to my work experience beforehand I was allowed in. So I rang up and was surprised to find I had got my place at UCLan and that was another day which was full of happiness as I learned I would be off to the Uni I wanted.
I feel I was lucky to get in and have tried to make the most of it, which hasn’t always been the case but its not through lack of effort. Uni hasn’t been like I expected and I’m still not sure I made the right decision to stay on at the end of my first year but here I am nearly at the end of my second year getting ready for my law exams and finding out I got a 58% in my issues presentation which wasn't what I wanted.
Another thing, is the Uni's decision to merge the print and online routes in third year. When it came to making our choice I choose newspapers but due to the lack of people taking both routes and the "convergence" of print and online they have decided to merge the routes. Now, on one hand this is great as we will be the first print and online graduates and it is the way the industry is going but on the other hand we are going to be the preverbial guinea pigs like we were for Law this year which went tits up but hopefully it will be ok. I'm certainly looking ahead to the challenges third year will bring!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Average Joe's life
Pluto has finished for the year now and on reflection I probably should have done more with, I have got 4 or 5 articles in the paper in a year which is pretty poor...
The LEP page hasn't worked out again, made more of an effort but not going to happen yet!
Still doing the odd shift for Match but as its the end of the season that is winding down
I am neck-deep in assignment work and deadlines. I handed in an assignment (which was produce a 5 page website on dreamweaver and a newspaper page on quark among many other things) last week and working on a 2,500 word assignment for Wednesday - currently done 2,000 words so progress is being made.
I got my one and only 70% = FIRST at University yesterday in my Archeology elective! I was amazed and absolutely delighted with that result as it pulls up my average for the year as well.
The NUJ oral history project has ran into several complications along the way but should be sent off today or definetly tomorrow as the audio file won't fit in an e-mail.
I have one assigment for wednesday (as I have said) one for Friday 11th May and two LAW exams on 17th (the course exam) and 31st (the NCTJ exam) which I am metaphorically crapping myself over as I am not at all confident of a good result in them.
I still do my radio show 9-11am on the student radio station and its still going fine.
My social life is very limited at the moment due to time and effort but Pro Evo and Champ Manager (where I have Preston in the Premiership) are keeping me sane!
As I nearing the end of my 2nd year I had to choose which route I wanted to specialise in and I went for Newspapers over broadcast which was a tough decision and one I am still unsure about...
I have a placement at my local radio station for two weeks in June and two 1 week placements at the MEN in August and another local paper back home which should give me another insight into the industry I want to spend my career in.
Think thats all for now folks, there's a lot going on in my life at the moment as you may be able to tell!
The LEP page hasn't worked out again, made more of an effort but not going to happen yet!
Still doing the odd shift for Match but as its the end of the season that is winding down
I am neck-deep in assignment work and deadlines. I handed in an assignment (which was produce a 5 page website on dreamweaver and a newspaper page on quark among many other things) last week and working on a 2,500 word assignment for Wednesday - currently done 2,000 words so progress is being made.
I got my one and only 70% = FIRST at University yesterday in my Archeology elective! I was amazed and absolutely delighted with that result as it pulls up my average for the year as well.
The NUJ oral history project has ran into several complications along the way but should be sent off today or definetly tomorrow as the audio file won't fit in an e-mail.
I have one assigment for wednesday (as I have said) one for Friday 11th May and two LAW exams on 17th (the course exam) and 31st (the NCTJ exam) which I am metaphorically crapping myself over as I am not at all confident of a good result in them.
I still do my radio show 9-11am on the student radio station and its still going fine.
My social life is very limited at the moment due to time and effort but Pro Evo and Champ Manager (where I have Preston in the Premiership) are keeping me sane!
As I nearing the end of my 2nd year I had to choose which route I wanted to specialise in and I went for Newspapers over broadcast which was a tough decision and one I am still unsure about...
I have a placement at my local radio station for two weeks in June and two 1 week placements at the MEN in August and another local paper back home which should give me another insight into the industry I want to spend my career in.
Think thats all for now folks, there's a lot going on in my life at the moment as you may be able to tell!
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